


contra

by haikquu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coffee Shops, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-03-22 02:53:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13754739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikquu/pseuds/haikquu
Summary: "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction - a contradiction.""I know Newton's third fucking law." Kei grumbled.Sugawara rolled his eyes before continuing. "Contradictions unsettle; they unbalance, tipping over the weights and scales you so carefully and precisely assembled. They signal for change, whether you're ready for it or not."Kei didn't like contradictions.





	1. where everything goes according to plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What happened, Tsukki?”
> 
> Kei looked back at the small building that was now a few metres away, closed his eyes for a moment before looking back at Yamaguchi.
> 
> “I was swayed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first chapter of contra featuring a grumbly tsukishima and an excessively everythign kuroo. imagine the title sung by brendon urie, as it is, in fact, sung by brendon urie
> 
> to summarise this chapter with the words of saima, my kind and faithful friend, as she beta's my fic at 2am:
> 
> "??? Nishtha i don’t think i understand English" "does ??? this even work I HATE ENGLISH"

Tsukishima Kei was never late, it simply didn't match his character. He was prompt, efficient, and considerate. He had never been late to school a single day of his life. He was either early or he didn’t show up (for if he did, he likely wouldn’t be able to handle the _sheer_ _embarrassment_ ). Tsukishima Kei, _late?!_ Those words didn't belong in a sentence together, unless that sentence was _Tsukishima Kei has never been and will never be late_.

Some things in life were just like that; set in stone.

Kei prided himself in his deliberation. He thought through every action and planned his days out in advance to ensure he did was he was supposed to do. Every action of his was deliberate,conscious; even his mistakes were deliberate. He was purposeful and measured and that was just how things were.

Tsukishima Kei was never late - however, he was about to be. He cursed as he nearly slipped down his apartment blocks steps ( _stupid second floor student accommodation_ ) before sprinting across the parking lot to the other side of campus.

There were many reasons that Tsukishima Kei was where he was right now and absolutely none of them were his fault, naturally. These reasons involved shots, Oikawa Tooru, and Oikawa Tooru’s shots, which, were definitely more like actual fucking bullets to the head than alcoholic shots. Or rather, they were both; little capfuls of _I wish this was literal acid, it would probably hurt less_ that went straight his chest. Kei was unsure how he still lived to see the next morning but he was thankful to every God he could name for this second chance at life.

But still, Kei was purposeful and deliberate, and that extended to all his fuckups, naturally.

However, today was the day that Tsukishima Kei was _definitely_ late. He was also _definitely_ hungover. Any second chance at life he’d thought he had would be lost if he didn’t hand in this damn final in on time.

It was the final essay paper for his semester one Political Economy class. It was a class he quite enjoyed. This final had been announced weeks ago and he had completed it in advance because he was Tsukishima Kei, _naturally_ . However, as a consequence of forces outside of his control, the professor had set the deadline on the last week of the semester. More specifically, the Saturday after the last school week of the semester. This was still fine, manageable for Kei, _however_ , his professor also required them to hand it in personally, before 9am on the Saturday to his lecture hall.

This was the same Saturday morning that came after Friday night, a night which was the last day of the semester, and consequently a night which, as aforementioned, involved Oikawa Tooru and a loaded semi-automatic. That is a paraphrased recount, but Kei stands by it.

Consequently, Kei was late, something which as established, Kei never was. It made sense, _sort of_. After all, nothing lasts forever, not empires, galaxies, or even Tsukishima Kei’s carefully assembled reputation (that maybe only he himself actually cared about).

He was upset, and he was damn well justified; his pride was on the line, and his claims to the name _Tsukishima Kei._ He held onto this sense of entitled-fury as he continued his solo march across campus.

He squinted his eyes against the harsh glare of the sun. The birds were also unnaturally loud, their irregular babel more akin to a vehemous squawking. _Birds usually never sang around here, what the hell?_ It was almost like Mother Nature herself had decided to personally manifest on his university campus in order to make his life hell. He swore he could a sneer within the shadows of the leaf litter.

He was definitely hungover, but maybe he was also still drunk. He checked the clock on his phone.

 **8:48am**.

“Shit.” He cursed under his breath, increasing his pace as he near-ran across campus.

 _This is_ _fine_. If this were a comic, this singular moment in Kei's life would likely be illustrated as that photoset of that dog sipping a cup of tea in a burning room, caption text: Kei was fine. Everything was fine. _This is fine._ This was planned, _deliberate._

He tore up the steps of the commerce building, rushing inside the hallway to his professor’s hall near the end.

He looked down at his phone again.

 **8:54am**.

_“Fuck.”_

He opened the door to the lecture hall only to find it empty. He glanced around the room, not seeing anyone else and approached the lecture stand at the front of the room. A loud voice broke the silence, starling Kei.

“Another submission?” Kei turned around the find the source of the voice, zoning in on a movement of black at the back of the hall.

He stepped away from the stand to get a better look. “Pardon?”

“You must be in the professor’s political economy freshmen class, right?” The figure stood up. Kei could make out a tall boy with dark hair standing at one of the desks at the back. “I’m one of the professor’s third-year TAs. Your submissions are here, come up.”

Kei observed the boy from his distance. He seemed to be another student, judging from the lack of the university’s signature _neon fucking orange_ visitor’s badge or lanyard on his dark grey shirt. He was also wearing black skinny jeans, from which, Kei deduced meant the boy wasn't that much older than himself either. He decided to believe the strange TA, who didn't seem to be familiar with the concept of introducing oneself like a normal individual, as opposed to hiding and shouting (and starling tired hungover first-years) across a hall.

Kei quickly walked across the room, hurrying up the stairs to get to the desk, to stand across from the boy. Up this close Kei could see his features clearly; strong jaw and sharp almost _feline_ like eyes. There was something slightly unnerving about the way his lips tilted up at the corners into a slight smirk and monstrous bed head. He was tall ( _and handsome_ ), but he also sported a gravity defying bird’s nest for hair and that led Kei to question his lifestyle choices.

“I think you’re the last one. You’re late.” Bird’s nest said, taking the paper from Kei’s hands and looking it over before sitting back down in the chair. He tossed it to the side on top of a pile of papers, presumably of his other classmates’ submissions. Kei seethed at hearing those words said out loud, ‘ _you’re late_ ’. It's like, he _knew_ he was late, but hearing other people say it felt like admitting some sort of defeat.

Perhaps it was because of the boy’s deep voice, or the fact that he was still incredibly attractive despite the hazardous bramble bush atop his head that had Kei flustered. He regained his voice after a moment.

“I’M NOT LATE.” He blurted out, much to his own embarrassment. “With all due respect... Mr... uh... _sir_... I do still have five minutes until the deadline.”

Bird’s nest grinned at that. “Five minutes till the _deadline_?”

“Yes, there was a deadline set for exactly 9am today.” Kei clenched out, trying to channel his signature monotone. Bird’s nest still grinned.

“ _And?_ ” Bird’s nest said, drawing out the words slightly. Kei narrowed his eyes; he was well acquainted with the familiar nuances of mockery in the tone.

 _“And_ , a deadline is the end of a time period in which an assignment can be handed in which, for this paper is 9am, and it is not yet 9am, so I'm not late.” He would not let the very excessive and very attractive boy win. Indeed, for the sake of his pride and his moral duty to honour the laws of physics which the bird's nest recklessly defied, he would not let the bird’s nest man win.

“And you think _that’s_ the best time to hand in an assignment? Gosh, kids these days! You know, back when I was a first year I’d never even _dream_ of handing in an assignment late-”

“I wasn’t late.”

“-and here you kids are just walking all over _everything_ this fine establishment of tertiary education stands on. Have you no _shame,_ no _consideration_ for law and order. Why the sheer _audacity!_ To be late. Pah.”

Kei gave him a moment to finish, eyes still narrowed. “I’m not late.”

Bird’s nest stared at him for a moment before smiling softly and lifting feet back off the desk. “Well, I dunno, kiddo. It _is_ past 9am.”

Bird’s nest was right, which made Kei upset. He seethed internally. He didn't like unfairly attractive people who talked way too much about stupid things and wasted his time. It was definitely in his top 3 pet peeves.

“ _I_ was on time, however, _you,_ independently, with no third party influence on my part _,_ decided to spend an extra five minutes on a much too long and much too boring monologue on being late, which once again, I was not.”

“Wow,” bird’s nest said with feigned indigence and generally unnecessary theatrics. “is that how you speak to your hard working TAs? Do you speak this rudely to your professors too? Why-”

“Are you marking these papers for the professor?” Kei asked, cutting bird’s nest in the middle of his monologue. He looked slightly puzzled in response as if this was the first time he’d ever had an audience member interrupt the play.

“No, I’m just collecting in th-“

“Okay then, thank you very much! Good day.” Kei said mock cheerily before running down the stairs to the exit of the hall.

He heard a shouted _‘It was nice to meet you too!’_ before the door shut loudly behind him.

He continued his _not-quite-seething-anymore_ , more like _below-fuming-somewhat-simmering_ disposition as he walked out of the faculty building. He was still upset and he was still justified. Kei felt a vibration in his pocket and took out his phone to find an incoming call.

“It's 9am, how are you even awake after last night?” Kei groaned into the phone, continuing walking out of the commerce faculty building. “No, change that to _why_ are you even awake after last night. I for one, wholeheartedly wish I were not.”

 _“Sorry, Tsukki,”_ Yamaguchi chuckled through the phone. “But some of us actually listen to the thousands of warnings given to us about Oikawa’s... _concoctions_.”

“You know that's a sore topic.” Kei grumbled.

“And you know it’s your own fault.” Kei remained silent in response. He was still upset and he would forever insist it was still justified. “Anyways, did you manage to hand your paper in on time?”

“I think so.”

“You _think_?”

Kei sighed. “I had a run in with an annoying TA. It's a long story I’ll tell you later when I don't feel like death personified.” He heard Yamaguchi’s chuckle through the phone’s speaker and smiled softly.

“Okay _Hades_ , I’m at the café with everyone else. Come get something to eat.”

“Ok, I’ll see you soon.” Kei said before disconnecting and putting his phone away.

Kei trudged back across the lawns to the small student café. It was during this walk that the reality of having not eaten anything in ten hours, and having only slept for maybe five, began to catch up to him. He felt drained, and still very upset, more so now with himself than the entire world (although still very upset at the entire world, as always).

If it weren't already evident, Kei was purposeful and deliberate. It was how he’d trained himself to be in order to tackle his life; balance academics with his extracurriculars, friends and family. He’d developed this tight regime over his own life to better handle it and avoid casualties. Consequently, he appreciated when the same discipline was shown from others. It was basic human decency to be on time, basic human decency to not unfairly waste people's time ( _and to not be so unfairly attractive)_. And what had just unfolded for Kei was a contradiction to this very truth that he had held dear all his life. It was a minor, infinitesimal upset in the long run but for Kei this was upsetting, physically and mentally; a contradiction that unbalanced.

Kei didn't like such contradictions.

He entered the café and walked over to a table near the back where he could see Yamaguchi waving him over from. His eyes narrowed in on the patch of bright, pumpkin coloured hair seated across from Yamaguchi, animatedly eating a stack of pancakes.

“ _You_ ,” he shouted, pointing at the aforementioned vegetable and slamming his backpack down onto the table much to the surprise of everyone seated. “ _You_ , are the reason I almost _failed_ university.”

Hinata looked up at him, puzzled for a few moments before bursting into laughter. “Oh, you must mean last night? That was incredible! I’m so glad I convinced you to come.”

“I was almost _late_ to hand in my final. Do you even _understand_ what that means?”

“You said almost, right? So you’re fine.” Hinata returned with a wide grin before promptly turning back to his plate.

“I swear to god I will _fight_ you-”

“Shh, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi cut him off, tugging at his arm gently to pull him down to a seat. “Just eat your pancakes. It's too early in the morning for dramatics.”

“It is never too early for dramatics.” Kei argued (mumbled), letting himself be pulled down. He focused his attention on the plate of food in front of him, leaving his battle with the pumpkin to be resumed another time.

Kageyama smiled at the exchange, however, as per his disposition, the smile looked more like a scowl. “So, as I was saying, Oikawa has another party tonight-”

Kei felt _chills_ at the mere sound of that name.

“No.” Kei said immediately. “No, I’m not going.”

“This is just a small gathering at his place! And it's just with people from Miyagi and some other friends of his.” Yamaguchi said, to be met with a glare from Kei. “It's just a small celebration! We already know everyone there, it's not a big deal.”

“Yeah,” Kageyama said nodding in agreement, although it was muffled by his large mouthful of food. “Nothing wild and crazy like last night. Oh my god, speaking of last night. Tsukishima, do you remember how you-”

He could feel his stomach churning as more memories from last night at Oikawa’s resurfaced. He did not need this so soon, end of semester one celebrations be damned; Tsukishima Kei still had his _pride_ (although, only fragments).

“No.” He repeated firmly. Tsukishima Kei would not fall prey to the clutches of peer pressure. He would prevail.

“But Tsukish-” Hinata began.

“No, no, no and that's final. I _absolutely_ refuse to go and there's _absolutely_ nothing you can say to make me.”

 

* * *

 

 

“I can’t believe you made me.” Kei guffawed, still in disbelief as he stared at the drink in his hand. They were all sitting together on a small sofa set in the corner of a large living room full of people, music loud and fast.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?” Kageyama shouted back, squinting at Kei as if that would help him hear better over the racing music.

“I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL.” Kei yelled earning confused looks from nearby people.

Hinata stood up from the sofa and stumbled closer towards Kei. “Shh.” he hushed, covering Kei’s mouth with his hand, and then _giggling_. “Talk less, drink more.”

“Why do we keep letting him do this? He has absolutely no tolerance for alcohol.” Kageyama sighed, arms folded with his signature look of fond disgust. It seemed like an oxymoron but somehow there was always some fondness in every look Kageyama gave towards Hinata, even the usual ones of disgust and despair.

“You’re no better, Kageyama.” Yamaguchi chimed in. “The two of you can barely stay sober on apple juice let alone vodka.”

Kageyama blushed furiously at that. “I swear to god Yamaguchi that was _one time_ if you keep bringing it up-”

“Wait- Tsukki, are you seriously wearing your headphones right now?” Yamaguchi said turning towards Kei, eyes bright with laughter and a slight blush on his cheeks from drinking. “We’re at a _party._ ”

“Your point?”

“There’s already music.”

“Well, maybe I want to listen to my own music.” Yamaguchi continued to stare at him, unimpressed. “Listen, I will not let the events of last night repeat themselves.” Kei said firmly, putting his headphones over his ears and sitting back into the recline of the sofa.

“Oh my god, _last night!”_ Hinata laughed loudly, startling Kei. “When you and Oikawa took all those shots and then got onto the tables an-”

“ENOUGH.” Kei cut him off quickly. “I will not be swayed.” He added, with a pointed look at Yamaguchi.

“What does that even mean you literally just drunk like at least two bottle-” Kageyama began.

“I WILL NOT BE SWAYED.” Kei repeated loudly, walking away from a laughing Yamaguchi and an unimpressed Kageyama, who had already turned back to tend to the still giggling Hinata.

He continued walking away from the group until he felt someone collide hard into his chest. He took a step back, shook his head slightly to regain his composure and looked up at the imposing obstacle. His eyes widened as he found himself met with a familiar set of sharp eyes and wild black hair. _Bird’s nest._

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention-”

“ _You_.” Kei sputtered in shock, mouth left agape. Bird’s nest seemed surprised too at first before he broke out into a grin.

“ _Me_.” He replied cheerily, the sides of his mouth tugged up in what seemed to be an ever-present smirk. There was a moment of silence and Tsukishima continued to stare in disbelief and bird’s nest matched his stare with his grin. “Wait, are you wearing _headphones_ at a party? There’s something almost criminal about that.”

“Well, maybe, I want to listen to my own music.” Kei mumbled indignantly.

Bird’s nest smiled. “A noble effort, truly, which I do applaud but perhaps it would be helpful to plug your headphones in first.”

Kei once again found himself in a very unpleasant situation, for reasons that were not his fault, _naturally_. Except they were entirely his fault and nothing today was going in his favour and he was maybe already a little bit drunk.

He took his headphones off and took a small step backwards, away from the Very Uncomfortable situation he had gotten himself into. It must be _criminal_ to be _that attractive_ , in this very moment, when the last thing Kei needs is ‘ _that attractive’_.

“Pardon?” Bird’s nest said.

Kei felt his blood freeze.

“I said that out loud, didn't I.”

“You did.” Bird’s nest said somewhat sympathetically. Kei didn't know what was more annoying; his face with the everpresent smirk or his face now showing a gentle smile. Both made his heart beat uncomfortably fast, although that was probably the alcohol speaking (although Kei didn't think it actually was). The man reached across to grab Kei’s arms to steady him, taking the headphones out of his hands. “Here, let me help you, you look a little pale. Are you okay?”

Kei felt somewhat attacked. He had not asked for this very annoying (very annoyingly attractive) man to be so close to him and say words to him, words which were hard to understand both because of the volume of the music, and his thumping heart struggling to pump oxygen around his body as its neglectant owner struggled to take a breath.

Kei was still upset; he’d lost his pride today, and he didn't have anything else to give the avenging bird man who stood across from him.

Kei decided this was enough. He’d woken up this morning with the simple intention of ending the semester by handing in an essay, and then meeting his friends, and then going promptly back to bed. He hadn't planned for any of this. Albeit all that had actually happened was a TA had teased him a little and then held his arm, but that was all enough to make Kei feel very overwhelmed.

Tsukishima Kei was still like any other mundane human, with a programmed fight or flight response.

He turned away quickly from bird’s nest, snatching his hand out of his grip and ran back over to the sofa set. “Yamaguchi, we’re leaving.” Kei hissed, grabbing Yamaguchi’s arms and pulling him up off from his seat and towards the door.

“ _What?_ Why?” Yamaguchi asked startled, which Kei promptly ignored as he powered through the guests, yanking Yamaguchi across the room.

And with that Tsukishima Kei exited the establishment, leaving behind his half finished drink, another fragment of his pride and probably some of his dignity too.

After a few steps he felt Yamaguchi pull roughly back on his arm, stopping Kei in his tracks. He turned around to find an exasperated and concerned Yamagucci. It seemed like an oxymoron, just like Kageyama’s fond disgust, but somehow when it came to Kei, Yamaguchi balanced exasperation with deep concern like a pro.

“What happened, Tsukki?”

Kei looked back at the small building that was now a few metres away, closed his eyes for a moment before looking back at Yamaguchi.

“I was swayed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made tsukki very pretentious bc thats how i see him pre-development arc. like think of the words being spoken w a pout. a perpetual pout, and thats his narrative voice. im always inclined to write w him in a softer more reflective narrative voice bc thats how he feels to me after s3 but then this wouldnt be much of a story if he'd already gone through his main development ykno. i'll try not to explain all my decisions and let my writing do the uh , talking, but im insecure so bear w me.
> 
> the tone is very weird but im warming up! promise. im purposeful . DELIBERATE. i'll try to make it less bad pls tx. feel free to comment below or find me @booseungkwn on twitter to complain LOL


	2. where I've gotta give it to you; you give me problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re right.” Kei sighed. “I don't know why I’m still so hung over this.”
> 
> “Maybe it's because you’re actually hungover.” 
> 
> “Maybe you should shut the fuck up.” Kei retorted (albeit without any malice). “I have another pair of headphones and I don't really need my dignity anyways. Absolutely nothing will come from this and I’ll never have to confront this problem ever again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from kathleen by catfish and the bottlemen lol
> 
> thank u to steph and saima again for spending ur precious time practically rewriting this mess. to summarise this chapter w a comment from saima: “cute :-)”

“So, let me get this straight,” Yamaguchi began slowly, emphasising each individual word as though carefully constructing his sentence. “You went to hand in your assignment - which you did on time -got teased by a third-year TA, met the same third-year TA at Oikawa’s party, accidentally called him criminally attractive _despite_ him sporting a literal bird’s nest-”

“Shut up.” Kei snapped, albeit without any malice.

 “- and then ran away from your problems by dragging us both 100 metres away from the party, and _away_ from the building we live in.”

Kei did not respond. He already felt embarrassed recounting yesterday's events to Yamaguchi a few moments ago, and now he just felt like a _fool._ He instead decided to ponder over when and how Yamaguchi Tadashi became so _good_ at making fun of him. Throughout primary and even secondary school, Yamaguchi had always minimised his criticisms of Kei, but university!Yamaguchi had no such qualms.

“We live _right_ _next door,_ why couldn't you have just dragged me here?”

Kei continued to refuse to respond.

“And all of this while you were either hungover or drunk. Maybe _that's_ the real problem here, Tsukki, and we should be discussing your questionable lifestyle choices.”

“Not the point, _Tadashi_.” Kei could see Yamaguchi grin in response from the corner of his eyes.

“And now you’ve lost your headphones.” Kei nodded ardently (or as ardently as he could nod given his current face-down, lateral position on the bed).

“ _And_ my dignity.” He added, although it was muffled by the bedsheets and heard as more of a _‘ah meh dighity’_. Often, when Kei felt attacked by the general events in his life, he assimilated this position; face down, head buried in the sheets of his bed. This way his eyes and ears were covered and he could safely withdraw from the unpleasant realities of his life.

“And your dignity.” Yamaguchi paused. “And that's why you yanked me out of Oikawa’s house last night?”

“Yes.”

“Because you embarrassed yourself talking to a boy.”

Yamaguchi Tadashi had certainly grown.

“ _Yes._ ” Kei gritted out through clenched teeth. He liked his _original_ version of the story better ( _‘I was attacked -- and robbed_ ’); it was less _embarrassing_.

Yamaguchi seemed to enjoy Kei’s internal torment. “So then, why do I need to care?” Kei groaned loudly, rolling over from his face down position on his bed to give Yamaguchi a stern look. “You know that I’m just messing with you!”

“I know, but it still hurts.”

“Ahh, you’re always so dramatic in the morning.” Yamaguchi teasingly sighed, moving across the room to join Kei on the bed. “Move over, you big lump.” Kei obliged, giving Yamaguchi space to sit on the mattress next to him. There was silence for a moment. “So, what are you going to do now?”

“I don't know. This is what you’re here for: to fix my problems.” Yamaguchi punched him lightly. “Thanks for that.”

Yamaguchi chuckled in response, before his face fell to a frown. “I don't think I quite understand what your problem _is_ though.”

“I don’t think I do either.” Kei groaned. He himself couldn't really figure out why his encounters with ‘Bird’s Nest’ were still bothering him so much. He kept replaying both of the instances over and over again, puzzling over how he’d been so flustered. Tsukishima Kei was usually always in control, but in both of these moments he hadn't been (although that was also quite characteristic of drinking alcohol).

Maybe Yamaguchi was right and he should reevaluate his lifestyle choices.

“But it's not like you’re ever going to meet him again.” Yamaguchi continued. “You don't have any other classes with that professor next semester, and if that TA is a third-year he might not even be around next year.”

Kei took a deep breath and got off the bed. Yamaguchi was right; he was being dramatic.

“You’re right.” Kei sighed. “I don't know why I’m still so hung over this.”

“Maybe it's because you’re actually hungover.”

“Maybe you should _shut the fuck up_.” Kei retorted (albeit without any malice). “I have another pair of headphones and I don't really need my dignity anyways. Absolutely nothing will come from this and I’ll never have to confront this problem ever again.”

For a few moments he felt proud and confident, slowly beginning to regain his control over his life. Then his head started pounding.

“I think I _am_ actually hungover.”

Kei felt like he needed to spend the next few days accounting for his mistakes over the last week. He wasn't typically one to go to parties - not that he was opposed to drinking or socialising, more rather he liked to do the two with only a select number of people. He could count that number on one hand probably, and since the primary one was Yamaguchi and they shared a dorm, he kinda just didn't go out that much. If it weren't for his neighbour and his other friends, more specifically his neighbour who was also his other friend, he doubted he would ever go out much at all.

Kei did drink, but not often. No, actually, he did drink often but he didn't do it excessively. He did it recreationally, for pleasure. Some days he’d do some prepatority reading with a cup of green tea, other days when he had a 5000 word analytical essay he’d switch it up to a glass of wine. It might not sound smart, but Kei knew himself and he planned for it. He always stayed in control. Usually.

Yamaguchi looked at him sympathetically. “It’s your poor lifestyle choices. You literally never leave the campus on a regular basis and then you party for two nights in a row. You are usually a better functioning human than this.”

Kei wasn't one to hole himself into his room necessarily, but he really liked his degree and he enjoyed studying. He always planned out his days in advance and most of those days just involved catching up with his studies, friends and study groups. He really didn't need to make time for much else.

However, consequence of his acquaintanceship with his neighbour, his time allocated for ‘friends’ naturally extended to said friend’s house parties, which is how Kei ended up at Oikawa Tooru’s place two nights in a row (and got kind of drunk on both occasions).

“Shut up.” Kei groaned. “Just buy me some coffee.”

Yamaguchi laughed. “Come on, I’ll take you to the café.”

Kei was purposeful and deliberate and controlled. He didn't say yes to things without accounting for the consequences. However, Oikawa Tooru was very hard to say no to. In fact Kei didn't think he knew anyone on campus who could successfully say no to Oikawa (except for Iwaizumi probably, who in turn Oikawa couldn't say no to). And when Kei couldn't say no (as he planned to) he ended up saying ‘yes’ and quickly redrafting his plan to account for the inevitable _disaster_ that always ensued.

Yamaguchi got up off the bed and diligently half-carried, half- _yanked_ Kei off as well. They both walked over to the door and Kei opened it. “Oh, wait, I’ll just grab my wallet, give me a second.” Kei nodded in response and stepped out the door.

His head still hurt and he couldn't figure out why he was in such a daze today. Maybe it was just because he was still hungover.

He took a step to his right, intending to lean against the wall next to the door when he bumped into something hard. He took a step back, shook his head slightly to regain his composure and looked up at the obstacle. His eyes widened as he found himself met with a familiar set of features in a familiar circumstance.

“ _You_.” Bird’s nest sputtered in surprise.

“Me.” Kei replied, before wincing as he recognised the familiar pattern of this exchange from the previous night. There was a moment of silence as neither of them said anything more, both somewhat surprised and unsure how to proceed. Kei coughed a little to clear his throat. “Why are you here?” _At my_ _home?_

“Why are _you_ here?”

“I asked first!”

There was another moment of silence. Kei took the time to subtly observe ‘Bird’s Nest’, the direct daylight revealing his features more clearly. His hair was just as preposterous as the day before, somewhat sticking out randomly in certain clumps (but, _god,_ he still looked so unfairly attractive).

“You ran away from me last night.” Bird’s nest said with a mock pout. “You ran away from me before then too.”

“You _attacked_ me.”

“I literally just held your arm because you looked like you were about to faint.”

Kei could feel heat rising to cheeks at the recount. _Gosh,_ he was so embarrassing. “You stole my headphones.”

“ _You ran away from me.”_ Bird’s nest repeated somewhat incredulously. He still maintained his grin, the glint in his eyes showing that he was thoroughly entertained by their exchange. ‘ _Great’,_ Kei thought, ‘ _someone else who enjoys making fun of me’._

Just then Yamaguchi opened the door, making Kei jump. “Okay, I’m ready now, Tsukki, let’s go-” he began before stopping in shock as he noticed the stranger. “I’m sorry, did I interrupt something?”

Bird’s nest looked over at Yamaguchi, then back at Kei, then back at Yamaguchi before flashing him a bright smile. “No, not at all. I was just visiting a friend nearby.” _A friend?_ He turned back to Kei. “I’ll see you around, maybe.” He raised one hand in a half-wave before walking around the two frozen boys and towards the stairwell.

They both stayed frozen for a moment.

“Tsukki -- what?”

Once again, Kei felt attacked. He didn't ask for this, didn't want it either. If this was some sort of sign or gift from the universe, he very much wanted to give it right back.

“Let's… just go get some coffee. Please.” Kei said tiredly. Yamaguchi seemed to understand what Kei didn't say and so the two of them took the familiar walk to the campus cafe.

Kei looked over at Yamaguchi, who looked somewhat lost in thought.

“Don't think too hard, you might hurt yourself.” Kei teased. Yamaguchi looked up in surprise as Kei’s voice seemingly broke him out of his trance.

“ _Dude_ , I thought you were just exaggerating but his hair _literally_ defies all known laws of physics.” Kei let out a loud laugh in surprise at that, stopping in his tracks to look over at his best friend fondly. He’d expected many potential comments from Yamaguchi, but somehow he hadn't expected that.

Yamaguchi was still in awe. “And yet he’s _so attractive.”_ Kei agreed (mentally) and then punched himself (mentally) for agreeing. Just as he thought he’d never have to face his problems again, they came for him straight to his _home_ right when he least expected it. He felt attacked, _threatened_.

Yamaguchi seemed to notice Kei’s mood darkening and quickly added, “Don’t worry!” with an encouraging smile. “I’m sure that will be your last encounter with him.”

 

* * *

 

It wasn't the last encounter. Over the next few days Kei ran into Bird’s nest nearly everywhere; the library ( _‘You,’_ Kei would guffaw. _‘Me,’_ Bird’s nest would respond cheerfully. It was like a broken record stuck on the same part), the campus café, just any place he’d try to go to, Bird’s nest was just there.

It was insane and made absolutely no sense and Kei was very confused and felt very much attacked.

On Monday, he’d decided he’d had enough. _(‘I’m fucking losing my mind’)_ and decided to leave campus to clear his head a little. This had worked well for a while until he stood in line for a city bus, noticed a familiar _wasp’s habitat_ a few people ahead in the line and then promptly sprinted back to the safety of his dorm ( _‘I think I’ve lost my mind’)._

And that's what brought Kei to where he was now, lying on his bed in his familiar _trying-to-avoid-all-my-problems_ position. The semester was over; he didn't have any immediate work to distract himself with but he also couldn't go outside to do anything in case the universe was still feeling generous with its _gifts_.

“Tsukishima~” A loud singsong voice cut through the silence of Tsukishima’s Monday morning. He was alone in his dorm, Yamaguchi having left a few hours ago for his daily volunteer work. “I need something from you.”

It was 11am, the somewhat regular time of Oikawa’s daily intrusions. Tsukishima had never really been friends with his neighbours before, and hence didn't quite know what it entailed. However, when it came to Oikawa, he knew it meant absolutely no privacy and coming back to find his kitchen cabinets nearly empty (but then also fully stocked a few hours later). Neither of them planned this (Kei fought every instinct to try), but somehow every time Oikawa barged into Kei’s dorm, Kei was always there almost as if he was waiting for it.

“No.” Kei said monotonously, turning back to his notes sprawled out over his desk.

Oikawa pouted. “You didn't even hear me out.”

“Don't need to hear it in order to know that I don't want to do it.” Oikawa pouted more, although Kei could tell it was more theatrical than genuine. When it come Kei’s “no’s”, they held very little impact on Oikawa. Kei sighed deeply, he really was terrible at saying no to Oikawa. “Okay, fine.”

“Wonderful!” Oikawa rushed into his apartment and pulled up a chair next to Kei. Kei, being as perceptive as ever, realised that he wouldn't able to get anymore work done and so began putting his notes away. “So basically, I need a favour. Or no, actually, a friend of mine needs a favour from me but I can't do it so I need you to.” Kei raised an eyebrow in response.

“Why can't you do it?” he said slowly, eyes narrowed. Oikawa, despite some of his theatrics, was someone Kei recognised to be steady and thoughtful, deeply intuitive and perceptive when it came to other people. He was playful and a little ( _only_ a little) bit manipulative, but he was solid and always kept his word. This was something Kei liked immensely about Oikawa, however, it also made him someone to be cautious of.

“I already did.” Kei gave him a blank look. “Basically one of my _precious_ _juniors_ has a film project and they need you for it.”

“Me?” Kei questioned incredulously. “Why?”

“It's... some abstract allegory _film thing -_ \- I don't really know.” Kei thought he _did really know_ , but he didn't comment on it. “They already filmed me and Iwaizumi, if it makes you feel any better, and all we really did was look at the camera for 10 seconds.”

“I... don't think I quite understand...” Kei said slowly. He was confused with the idea. Kei wasn't exactly born for the camera and in any school plays he'd always been more of a narrator figure; his awkward monotone interfered with emotive expression. In front of a camera he felt somewhat suffocated and constrained. He didn't like what Oikawa was asking from him.

Oikawa’s face softened and he spoke more quietly. “I wouldn't ask this from you if I thought it was too out of your league.”

Kei and Oikawa had a strange, puzzling relationship (to both parties involved), but Kei respected and trusted Oikawa to a large extent.

“Please?”

Kei paused. “I’ll think about it,” he said slowly.

Oikawa beamed. “Thank you! I’ll give him your number so he can explain it better to you. His name is Akaashi Keiji.”

“I still don't understand why he wants me to be in it.” Kei said as Oikawa began walking across the room. Oikawa simply smiled.

“He says it's a big shoot for his end-of-year project, so there are a lot of people involved. He said you’re perfect for the other people he wants you to work with.” Kei frowned in response causing Oikawa to laugh. “Don't worry! Have I _ever_ asked you to do something you came to regret?”

“Have you not seen the video of us from last Thursday.” He deadpanned. It was a question, but also not a question. He knew both of them remembered that night and that both of them would continue to look back at it with nothing but regret.

Oikawa’s face paled.

“I take it back. You should _really_ stop hanging out with me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like comment and smash that subscribe button to support my channel tx
> 
> i already have the next few parts drafted but want some more feedback before i post them so pls feel free to share ur thoughts!!! n bookmark for updates! they'll be frequent for a while before I drown in schoolwork
> 
> you can contact me @booseungkwn on twitter to complain lol


	3. where the songs you grow to like never stick at first

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And, I doubt Tsukishima could handle another party.”
> 
> Kei groaned in response to the mention of the party. “Please don't.”
> 
> Oikawa laughed loudly, momentarily forgetting his previous upsets. Sawamura snorted audibly, grinning alongside Iwaizumi.
> 
> “You know, if I didn't know any better, I’d say he likes it.” Sawamura teased.
> 
> “Good thing you know better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from dead on arrival by fall out boy bc i LOVE the motif of songs and records for people. favourite record also is such a bop ... but this fits better. kinda.
> 
> i wrote most of this before writing chapter two until i realised that was dumb and stopped. so ya. 
> 
> saima, as she betas the end of the fic: "I can tell you're projecting here "

Tsukishima Kei was considerate and charitable, and those were the reasons that placed him at Oikawa Tooru’s residence at 12pm on a weekday. When he woke up that morning, he’d already planned his day out. Tuesdays for Tsukishima meant a nice three hours of preparatory reading in the library during the semester, and two in the holidays (because he was still Tsukishima Kei after all). He’d planned to study, go out to eat, do nothing for an hour, then study again. He was able to sleep well the night before and could wake up feeling content and in control, knowing he had everything already planned.

In reality, his neighbour was still Oikawa Tooru.

It would seem after more than four months of this reality, Tsukishima Kei would have adapted to it; however, he still let himself down on a daily basis.

“I don’t understand, Sawamura, how you possess the sheer _audacity_ to enter _my home_ and insult my livelihood.” Oikawa ranted, finishing off by dramatically slamming his wardrobe door shut.

“Oikawa, you don't even have a job.” Kei pointed out, for which he was promptly ignored.

“I get it, Mr.. ‘I study engineering because I like _real_ physics and astronomy is _bullshit_.” Oikawa

“No,” Sawamura objected, with equal volume. “I said _astrology_ is bullshit. I believe the moon exists, I just don't see how where it was on the night of my birth affects my ability to build human relationships.”

“As condescending as ever I see, nothing less expected from a _Capricorn_.” Oikawa scoffed, turning back to examine his wardrobe door for any damage. He stepped back, satisfied that there seemed to be none.

“Why am I even here?” Kei said to no one in particular. Or rather, _‘why am I here’_ he said, addressing the ceiling he’d been relinquishing under his gaze for hours (or alternatively, like 30 minutes). He’d been lying on his back on the double bed in Oikawa’s room for the past half an hour, staring faithfully at the white plaster as everyone else in the room bickered. He couldn't remember why he had entered the apartment in the first place, but he regretted his decision to do so.

“Why are any of us actually here?” Ushijima pitched in, head hidden behind a textbook. It was him in his natural habitat, nose deep into a novel or dissertation. In fact it was surprising actually that he’d even listened to the conversation enough to participate.

“See, now _he_ ,” Oikawa said, pointing at Ushijima who had already tuned back out of the conversation, “gets it.”

Kei groaned and rolled over into his stomach. He would now address his correspondences to the pleasantly puffy mattress. It was one of Kei’s many talents to be able to assume his coined position on any mattress presented to him.

“I’m your _friend,_ Tsukishima, you don't need another reason to be here.” Oikawa grumbled.

‘Here’ referred to the somewhat ragtag conglomeration of a One, Tsukishima Kei, Oikawa Tooru, Sawamura Daichi and the somewhat present Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Kei always had a very small, intimate friend circle for as long as he could remember. In fact, majority of his primary schooling had consisted nearly singularly of Yamaguchi. He wasn’t quite sure how they had become such good friends, but somehow the boy had weaselled his way into the very structure of Kei’s life.

Kei hadn't necessarily been looking for Yamaguchi, or not explicitly at least, and neither had Yamaguchi necessarily been looking for him. Somehow still they had found each other, and it felt like a long search had some to an end.

There were many things Tsukishima Kei did not like (he was only human, after all). People who blocked both sides of an escalator, having to explain he spoke Japanese not Chinese and _yes they were different_ , people who called their caramel-vanilla-double-chocolate or whatever frappuccino ‘ _coffee’,_ and (naturally) many more. Yamaguchi had been one of them at first too. Initially, the other boy had been infatuated with Kei, almost idolising him. He was clingy and passive and Kei detested that. However, somewhere along the way the dependency became mutual and now Yamaguchi was practically his family (teased him like he was, too).

Then there was high school, and then the Karasuno team, and more annoying people wedged their way into the framework of Keis life. All of them were shorter than him, but they were so much _louder_ and _bigger_ in their presence (most notably the pumpkin and his solemn guardian). They teased him, and got on his nerves nearly _every single day_ , but they also supported him and helped him.

“How is your house _still_ a mess from last week?” Sawamura asked, in genuine awe. “In fact I’m amazed at how you manage to hold such wild parties literally everyday.”

“I don't have wild parties here _every_ day!” Oikawa said indignantly, eyes narrowed at Sawamura.

“You literally just had parties in here two nights in a row,” Kei quipped, earning a glare from an affronted Oikawa.

“Three, actually.” Ushijima added, much to everyone's surprise.

“And only three! I wanted to try the whole host thing. Three’s a nice number. I’m done with it now.”

“Do you not remember the series of events you held here in _my_ first week of schoo-”

“I SAID I’M DONE WITH IT NOW.” Oikawa shouted, cutting Kei off. Kei sighed and withdrew neatly, he knew better than to engage with Oikawa’s romanticisms.

Iwaizumi poked his head through the door, likely disturbed by the noise. “Good thing, too,” he chided. “I was getting sick of cleaning up all the mess.” His eyes met Kei’s, a mischievous grin sneaking up on his face. “And I doubt Tsukishima could handle another party.”

Kei groaned in response to the mention of the party. “ _Please don't._ ”

Oikawa laughed loudly, momentarily forgetting his previous upsets. Sawamura snorted audibly, grinning alongside Iwaizumi.

“You know, if I didn't know any better, I’d say he likes it.” Sawamura teased.

“Good thing you know better.” Kei retorted, earning a snort this time form Iwaizumi.

There was high school, and then, there was _this_.

 _‘This’_ in itself, was hard to explain. Kei, without really understanding how, had somehow developed a close connection to the Karasuno third years. It puzzled him deeply. In his life, most of his seniors that he’d had good relationships with all moved on quite quickly after their schooling and connections rarely remained. It was like an elastic band: a new person would pull the band out, expanding the circle but then they’d leave and let go and Kei’s world would snap back to its starting state.

However, with Karasuno, his teammates had pulled and pulled on the band until it lost all elasticity. The band was deformed, perhaps, but it was also much larger than before. Any other group of people would have likely just left Kei be, but Karasuno was special. They nagged tirelessly, but with that same energy they consistently had his back.

He felt a vibration in his phone and pulled it out to check the notification. He smiled when he saw the texts from Yamaguchi, to whom he’d been relaying the entire conversation, of course.

 

**Yamaguchi [12:02]**

Omg

**Yamaguchi [12:03]**

Does Sawamura have NO regard for his personal safety?

Pulling this kind of stuff in OIKAWAS house ???!??

**Me [12:03]**

he starts this same fight literally every time he comes here

**Yamaguchi [12:05]**

If I didn't know any better, I’d say he likes it.

**Me [now]**

u know what actually i think u’r right

  


Kei smiled to himself, or at least he tried, what with his face still somewhat pressed against the bed.

“Iwaizumi.” Ushijima said with a smile, giving a small nod as greeting.

“Oh, Ushijima!” Iwaizumi smiled back, stepping forward into the door frame. “I almost didn't see you there.”

“I get that quite a lot.”

“Wow, Iwaizumi, you look all dressed up.” Sawamura said, whistling approvingly. “Meeting someone special?” he teased.

“Yes, actually,” Iwaizumi replied with a grin. “Actually right now -- shit I’m gonna be late. I don’t know when I’ll be back, Oikawa, but I have my key so don't wait up.”

Kei looked over to glance at Oikawa who in turn was looking down at his hands. “Ah~ I forgot your date was today.” He lifted his head and offered Iwaizumi a smile. “Have fun~”

Kei watched as Iwaizumi flashed them all a grin and bolted out of the doorframe. He then looked back over at Oikawa who, as predicted, was still staring down the door. Kei waited a moment.

“Oikawa?” He called out. Oikawa snapped his head around in response, eyes narrowing as they landed on Kei.

“Don’t say a _word_.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

Oikawa held his gaze for a moment before sighing loudly and slumping forward. After a pause he spoke, “It’s a problem, but I’m not looking for a solution.”

They had not talked about Oikawa’s… _problem..._ yet. They weren't quite close enough to talk about it, but at the same time they didn't need to talk because Kei kinda just got it. It was like this a lot of the time with Oikawa, he didn't press, rarely asked questions ever and vice versa, but they just seemed to understand each other. It was probably the combination of Kei’s sharp perception and politeness, a combination shared with Oikawa (although the boy did lack a bit of the latter) that meant their actions tended to speak more than their words. They weren’t really close, but also they kind of were, and it was puzzling and confusing and Kei just didnt get how easily he _got_ Oikawa.  

It was just one of the many things about his life now that he didn’t understand, and every time he tried to look into he’d always come up short with no answers. Oikawa Tooru was something of an enigma to Kei. If you asked him, ‘Who’s Oikawa?’ the answer would be simple to Kei. He’d respond along the lines of ‘really annoying third year psychology student, popular with majority of the student body and staff faculty, curly brown hair, shorter than me’. However, if you then asked, ‘What's he like?’ Kei would be stumped. He knew Oikawa, knew well what he liked and disliked about him, but he didn't really _know him._ It was just something he’d continue to puzzle over, he supposed.

He hadn't known Oikawa very well back in Miyagi. Where with the Karasuno third years there were regular meetups, friendly matches every so often with warm smiles and large grins and _we’ve missed you kids so much-- Hinata, have you grown?!_ , Oikawa Tooru remained a stranger in the last few years of High School.

It wasn't until Kei moved in to the apartment. Things were quiet for the first week, mainly a few _‘hey sorry, having a few guests over tonight just let me know if things ever get too loud’_ which Kei, naturally, never did even though they _always_ got too loud. Until after a while, something changed and Kei found himself next door in the other boy’s room nearly every other day and meeting at cafés and around the university just talking and hanging out and it was so confusing but also kind of comforting.

Once again Kei hadn't been looking for a friend, or not explicitly at least, but strangely enough he’d found one.

Yamaguchi was still his best friend, his family practically, but Yamaguchi was also a very busy double degree student with almost all of his free time volunteering at nearly every goddamn kindergarten near campus that would hire university students (because that's what education majors who loved their degree did apparently).

Kei didn't know what to do with another friend, when he was still trying to figure out how he’d got his first, so he stopped questioning it (especially when Oikawa seemed to be just as puzzled as he was about their dynamic).

If Sawamura and Ushijima had heard their small exchange, they pretended not to, for which Kei was grateful for. There was a pause as everyone in the room didn't saying anything for a while.

“I can’t even remember why I called any of you here anymore either,” Oikawa admitted. “But now I’m bored and hungry -- let's go get lunch.”  


* * *

 

“Hello~ earth to Tsukishima~” Kei blinked himself out of his daze to find Oikawa waving his hand around in front of his face. “Hmm, it lives.”

They were now at the familiar café, just the two of them as Sawamura and Ushijima had both politely declined.

“Sorry, I zoned out for a minute,” he admitted sheepishly. “What did you say?”

“I said ‘what about you, Tsukishima?’,” That was another thing: _‘Tsukishima’_. Oikawa liked to make nicknames for everyone (nearly everyone in Hinata’s course referred to him as ‘shrimp’ as consequence) but he always said Kei’s name in full. It was just another thing he didn't fully understand about their relationship (but at the same time he kinda got it).

Kei gave him a blank look in response to which Oikawa rolled his eyes. “We both know I have my problems, but what about you? You’ve been in such a daze the past few days.”

They hadn’t met up for long over the past few days yet once again Oikawa seemed to just understand his mood instantly. It was both alarming and comforting to Kei, alleviated by the fact that Kei seemed to be able to analyse him just as well.

“I think… I have a problem too.” Kei didn't say much, but he didn't need to.

Oikawa nodded thoughtfully. “Tsukishima, you know where I go every time I need sagely advice.”

“Enlighten me.”

“No-- that wasn't a question. You _do_ know where I usually go for advice.” Kei continue looking at him blankly. Oikawa rolled his eyes and gestured towards the café’s counter with his head.

“He’s, like, _literally_ my counsellor. I go to him every week.”

Keis mouth fell into a small ‘o’ shape as he realised what Oikawa meant.

“He’s, like, the third most beautiful person on campus.”

“Third?” Kei commented in amusement.

“Well I’m first, _obviously_ , and then Iwai-chan’s second.” Kei smiled at Oikawa’s childishness. Oikawa was somewhat of a contradiction in moments like this, he acted so playful and childish at time but simultaneously he held this pensive maturity. At any given moment he was likely in deep character analysis.

Kei heard the sound of a shair scrape against the floor and snapped his head up to see Oikawa standing and walking away.

“His shift will end in 10 minutes. Tell him I said hi~” Oikawa raised one hand to wave in farewell and walked out of the cafe. Kei sat somewhat dumbfounded in his seat for a few minutes, before catching on to what Oikawa had intended him to do. He waited a few moments before walking over to the counter.

The café was relatively empty at this time in the afternoon, especially with campus being relatively empty during the holiday. Kei took a seat at one of the empty stools, preparing himself for what would likely be a very uncomfortable conversation in the next few minutes. He closed his eyes to take a deep breath.

The loud sound of something falling against the floor snapped Kei’s eyes open. He peered over the counter, eyes wide in alarm to find the source of the disturbance. His eyes narrowed in on a movement of black, a monstrous bed head paired with a sheepish grin and arms full of… _muffins?_

“I swear I’m not stealing.” Bird’s nest blurted out, causing Kei to just continue looking at him incredulously.

It was insane, absolutely fucking insane. What were the actual chances of an encounter like this? All Kei had done was _think_ about the guy and suddenly he appeared right in front of him. Once again, this wasn't what Kei wanted, but it was what he received and he would try to figure out why but he’d kind of forgotten how to breathe.

“Isn't that the first thing a thief would say.”

“I don't know how to answer that because I’m not sure if your monotone voice was asking me a question or making a statement.” Kei bit back a smile at his response. There was silence for a few moments before Bird’s nest spoke up again. “I thought we would meet each other again.” His voice was soft. Kei was extremely flustered and too dumbfounded to add a retort.

“Hey-- hurry up, comb head!” A shout from outside the café shattered the moment, Bird’s nest looked at the door of the café in annoyance.

“And unfortunately, that's my cue to leave. I’ll see you around~” Bird’s nest gave him a world stopping smile before running out of the café, muffins in hand. Kei remained frozen on his feet, eyes boring a hole into the space where he’d last seen his silhouette. Kei could feel the blood rush to his cheeks, his brain paused on that _beam_.

Kei could feel his heart racing, heat rushing around his body and he began to feel more anxious. He unlocked his phone and went to dial Yamaguchi but was met with no answer.

_Shit, shit, shit. I have a problem._

At that moment a figure emerged from the kitchen door behind the counter. Kei could feel the force of the multitude of thoughts and emotions bubbling around inside, pounding and crashing like one giant _wave_ of emotion. He decided it was now or never.

“Sugawara, I need your help.”

Sugawara stood in his spot, puzzled for a moment until he understood what Kei meant.

“Give me a moment to just finish cleaning up.” Sugawara said, hurriedly taking off his apron and turning around to head back into the kitchen. “I’ll be back in just a sec, take a seat.”

Kei took his seat again at the counter. Somehow, over his two and a half years at the university, Sugawara had become somewhat of a legend. Nearly everyone Kei knew (not that he knew that many people to begin with) had visited him at one point or another to consult him on their problems. When Oikawa jokingly called him his ‘counselor’ he wasn't too far off. Sugawara was visited frequently by multiple different students in a week, hearing them all out without a complaint.

When Kei asked Sawamura about it, he just grinned mischievously. _‘It's good for business_ ’.

Sugawara re-emerged after a while in casual clothes. He took one long sweep of the counter with a tea towel before putting it to the side and leaning across the countertop opposite Kei, chin resting atop his joined hands. “Now what can I help you with?”

“I’m got this... uh... _problem_.” Kei fumbled, suddenly feeling very aware of himself. He didn’t quite understand what had motivated him to actually stick around to talk to Sugawara about his problem, in fact he didn’t even understand what his problem was in the first place. He paused for a moment, in an attempt to try to form a coherent thought as his mind raced ahead.

Sugawara just gave him an encouraging smile. Kei closed his eye and took a deep breath.

“It's like... Okay, so... basically, I’ve got this... _song_ stuck in my head and I cant get it out. It’s like, inside of me somehow. And I keep thinking about it constantly and seeing it everywhere and I don’t understand why, and it’s just the same annoying part playing over and over again and it’s so distracting and I can’t focus on anything else and it feels almost suffocating because it’s literally _everywhere_ I go like this constant nagging reminder.”

Sugawara waited for a moment to make sure Kei was finished.

“Hmm… usually, when there’s just a chorus of a song or something like that stuck in my head, I just listen to the whole song and it helps.” Kei could tell Sugawara knew this wasn’t about a song but was deeply grateful that he entertained the metaphor. “Have you tried listening to the whole song?”

“I... can’t do that.” Kei admitted sheepishly.

“Why not?”

“If I know more of the song, the other parts might get stuck too.” He felt a little childish, pouty as he spoke. It felt silly toying around with this metaphor, especially when Kei didn’t really know what it was supposed to represent, it had just been the first thing to come to mind. An annoying song, an ‘earworm, that sort of described the way Bird’s nest would just emerge out of nowhere and _infest_ Kei. Sort of.

It felt silly to Kei, feeling so much and barely understanding why. It was like asking a three year old why they’re crying, and receiving their three year old response of _‘because I’m upset’_ , asking them again ‘why?’ and receiving _‘because I just am.’_

“Is it a bad song?”

“I-- uh. I don’t know. I haven’t let it play past the start.” Kei’s eyes widened slightly in realisation as he understood what Sugawara was pushing towards.

Sugawara’s smile widened and he stepped back off the counter. “Then I think you know what you need to do.”

“What do I need to do?” He asked although it felt more like a request than a question. Kei sort of knew what he needed to do too, or at least he thought he did, he just needed to hear it said out loud. Sugawara seemed to know that, too.

“Play the song out, Tsukishima, play it out.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a little more filler chap !!! then the Good Stuff. i just wanna make sure my character choices and stuff can be understood well lol. plus its like trying to establish & familiarise w tsukki's mindset a little more. theres like only one more chap of this until!!! action. to some degree at least. 
> 
> you can contact me @booseungkwn on twitter if . u like!


	4. where talk only gets in the way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And what's your YouTube watch history, Evanescence? The Chainsmokers? ABBA?”
> 
> “I know you’re trying to mock me, and I sincerely admire your efforts, but I really gotta be honest with you and say all of the above.” Kei didn't say anything in response, mainly because he couldn't figure out how to respond. What was this guy? “Also, definitely Ted-ED videos, and probably Disney film analyses.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from silvertongue by young the giant!
> 
> ok actually i had this chapter written up ages ago but my precious <3333 betas n I hv been busy. and i write real bad so like w/o any editing my writing is just unintelligible word vomit.
> 
> to quote saima: "i really feel like you're just projecting here again"

Tsukishima had had every intention to follow through, but sometimes life just got in the way. It's not that he’d forgotten Sugawara’s advice -- in fact, it was near impossible to. Rather, it just served as an ever present nagging reminder at the centre of his headspace, a vision of a jeering laugh and dark wild hair taunting him as he tried to proceed with his life, like a song stuck in his head.

 _Fuck._ He just had to be _that_ edgy teen and pick some stupid song analogy for his problems.

Essentially, there was an ever present hum in his life, one that occasionally magnified to a steady instrumental which, upon hearing Kei, would immediately choose the option of non-confrontation. Sometimes, for life to properly get in your way, you have to give it a hand.

His life at the moment consisted somewhat singularly of studying (even during semester breaks). Tsukishima Kei was clever, yes, but he was no genius. He worked hard to score highly in all of his classes, and had to work harder to maintain it. Studying was also usually a good distraction -- however, now it had just become another task he couldn’t fully focus on because Bird’s nest had become the primary distraction. His notes had become a series of scribbles and hashed out line, ‘ _this is one of the key principles of developing feelings--_ shit _, development economics’_.

It was embarrassing.

He’d had infatuations before but they were when he was young, typically for older kids who’d represented some sort of idealistic figure to him. They’d been kind and more mature, hence easy to admire and also easy to forget because even though Kei was a kid, he was also a _realist_.  The existence of Bird’s nest seemed to contradict a lot of that.

Was it because he was attractive? He _was_ , but not, like, _that_ attractive. Kei wasn't the type to develop physical infatuations anyways, he was more _angst and slowburn_ , a friends-to-lovers trope if you will. Kei had had maybe 3 crushes in total his entire life. One was this _really really_ pretty girl back in primary. He was only maybe 6 and she was 10 but she told him his painting was nice and she talked so _eloquently_ and was always so cheerful and bubbly that every Friday when her class visited his for buddy time he’d find her and _stick_ by her for the entire time.

It was _so_ embarrassing.

And then when he was 13, he’d developed an infatuation for this guy in his literature class. Kei had never had much interest in classic literature, but something about the boy’s soft brown hair and his enthusiasm and passion for the ever bothersome socio-political complexities of Wuthering Heights made him read nearly every Penguin Classics he could find in his little neighbourhood library.

It was even more embarrassing; literally _nothing_ was more boring than Sense  & Sensibility and yet he’d studied that text for _days_ . Only for her to move on to high school and the boy to move to another country. Kei supposed that if the universe did actually pay any special attention to his existence, it was mainly just to fuck with him. No, actually, it was _only_ just to fuck with him.

It was tiring, because when Tsukishima fixated on something, he _couldn't let go_. Damn his disposition.

It was also what made his current predicament so strange; he didn't know the guy at all. Kei has barely sustained any conversation with him, hadn't become enamoured with his speech or mannerisms, yet he felt so drawn towards him. He didn’t know what to expect from following through, hence was reluctant to do so.

Perhaps it wasn’t life that got in Kei’s way, but rather Kei who got in his own way.

So Kei continued to sit at his desk, the Thursday sun already midway across the sky, and allowed himself to fall into the void of his thoughts. Patches of light scattered across the desk, dancing along the wood as leaves from the tree outside the windows moved in the breeze. He smiled fondly at the familiarity of it all; how this small apartment had become his home. It had been maybe 5 months since he left his home in Miyagi, living on his own for the first time in his life.

Well, he wasn't completely alone, _obviously_. He was grateful that Yamaguchi had decided to come to the same university, and even more grateful when they were able to get their shared lodging. He was apprehensive at first about living with his best friend.It was different from just hanging out with them (and he didn't know what he’d do without Yamaguchi) but, as it always was with the two of them, he had nothing to worry about.

“So you’ve made your decision?” Yamaguchi’s voice snapped him out of his musings. He looked up to see Yamaguchi coming out of the bedroom door, rubbing his eyes and squinting at the light.

“Pardon?”

“Oh sorry.First, _good morning_ . Second, Oikawa mentioned you’d spoken to Sugawara, and literally _everyone_ on campus knows how solid his advice is.” Kei supposed he couldn't disagree with that, not yet anyways. “So what did you decide to do?”

“I don't know yet.” Kei sighed. It wasn't a complete lie: he knew what he _should_ maybe do, but he didn't know what he would do.

“You’re gonna find him right? Talk to him, maybe?”

Kei paused at that. _Was_ he going to go find Bird’s nest? Did he need to? Did he even want to? Is that what Sugawara meant by ‘play it out’? What the fuck does ‘play it out’ even mean? Why did he use a fucking song metaphor in the first place? His personality was really just too burdensome for even him to sustain.

“Maybe talking to him will help you break out of this mood you’re in. He could be like, a total asshole. It could be therapeutic.”

Maybe he could get over this.

“You’re right, I should find him.” Kei admitted before frowning slightly. “But for some strange reason, I feel like he’s just going to find me.”

Yamaguchi practically _beamed_ . “Oh my gosh, I’ve never seen you have a _crush_ like this before! This is so exciting! Hold up - let me get my camera-”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi!” Kei quickly cut him off, feeling his cheeks heat up. “It's literally not that deep, what the fuck? I just think he's attractive. That's it.”

“Oh my gosh. You think _he's_ _attractive_ and-”

“If you’re going to be this disruptive, I’m going to the library.”

 

* * *

 

Kei felt a vibration in his pocket and pulled out his phone. He read the contact ID and immediately straightening up in alarm.

**_Just Now: Text from Akaashi Keiji_ **

If he was to be completely honest, he had totally forgotten about Oikawa’s request. The text notification served as a reminder that cause most of Kei’s initial anxieties to resurface, and he could feel his stomach churning in dread. He’d never liked being photographed or filmed and displayed. He could tolerate school photos, photos at events and so on, he just didn’t like initiating them or posing for them.

Maybe he should just apologise now and quit, he wouldn't be much help to Akaashi anyways. He opened the text message.

 **_Akaashi Keiji  [11:43]  
_** _Hey, this is Tsukishima Kei right? This is Akaashi Keiji, Oikawa gave me your number. I wanted to talk to you about my film shoot._  
_I really appreciate you helping me on this! It means a lot to me. Oikawa mentioned that you were still a little unsure so I want to take the time to explain this project to you._  
_I completely understand if you still feel uncomfortable and don't want to do it anymore.  
_ _Would you be free today or tomorrow to talk? We can meet at the library study rooms._

Before Kei could process what he was he was doing his fingers had typed out a response,

 **_Me [11:44]  
_** _I’m in the library right now. I’ll come to you._

And he began to make his way to the study room at the corner of the library. 

 **_Akaashi Keiji  [11:46]  
_** _Oh! I’m on my way there right now. Kind of last minute so I don't have a lot of time but I’ll be there in 2._

Kei winced at the response. For someone who liked to plan things out intensely he found that impulsiveness was far more prominent in his life than he would like. He continued to wait outside the small line various study rooms, trying to organise his thoughts from the extreme mess they were currently in to a more manageable mess.

“Tsukishima!” Kei snapped his head to the direction the voice came from. His eyes narrowed in on a relatively tall, pale boy with dark curly hair that built a striking contrast. “Hi! I’m Akaashi Keiji.”

“Oh,” was all Kei could say in response. The boy - Akaashi - smiled agreeably. His smile wasn’t as large as Oikawa’s was, nor was it the shit-eating grin Bird's nest favoured, but it illuminated his face brilliantly. “How did you know who I was?”

“I saw you at Oikawa’s place.” Kei’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ in surprise. He hadn’t seen Akaashi there -- surely if he had he would’ve remembered considering how pretty he was. Akaashi seemed to notice Kei’s surprise and added a “You’re _tall_ , Tsukishima. You kind of stand out.”

Something about Akaashi was calming to Kei. He felt less nervous than he did before, responding with a small smile .

“Here, let's go in one of the rooms.” Akaashi said, stepping forward into the nearest room. Kei followed behind, closing the door behind him and taking a seat. Akaashi also took a seat and pulled out his laptop.

“So, basically,” Akaashi began, meeting Kei’s gaze. With anyone else it would've been intense and uncomfortable, but something about Akaashi put Kei at ease. “This is for my project at the end of next semester. It is a while away, but it's also a big project so I need to start early.” Kei could respect the want to plan early. Perhaps he should give this more thought. “It’s a film piece - I’m a film major - but it's a little more abstract than you might be expecting. Essentially, it’s very hard for me to explain this without any jargon, but I’m trying to focus on imagery. Contrasts, parallels, all to explore dynamics and tell a story through principally visuals.”

Kei offered a blank stare in response.

“Here, I’ll show you what I filmed for Oikawa and Iwaizumi. It’s not really edited but I’ll let you know what you’re getting into.” Kei nodded ardently in gratitude, leaning in closer to the monitor.

The video play, and then stopped. Kei was stunned. It was a series of visuals, both in flashing colours and black and white, slides that raced and some that zoomed that altogether featured around them. It was a series of split second visuals, lingering touches, and laughs, and stares and voices that somehow felt audible despite the silence of the clip.

“I’ve always been fascinated by Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s relationship, how _complementary_ the two of them are and how that could be depicted and captured visually.” Akaashi said animatedly, the words flowing out of him in a way that seemed both out of character to his calm disposition and completely natural. Kei nodded in response, however, his eyes were focused on the image the video had stopped on, one of Oikawa staring intensely at something out of the frame. Something turned in Kei’s gut and he felt a sort of guilt and empathy at the same time. Akaashi seemed to take notice.

“Ah, you’re concerned about Oikawa?” Kei blinked hard in surprise causing Akaashi to chuckle softly. “I’ve known Oikawa for quite a while too, you know.”

Kei took a deep breath, focusing back in on Akaashi. “So, no acting?”

“I literally just want you for your body.”

“You _flatter_ me.” he said sarcastically, although now with a smile.

“It’s honestly just a 10 second feature at this point.” Akaashi’s voice softened slightly. “If you feel uncomfortable about any aspect of it, you’re completely free to drop out.”

Perhaps it was his low, relaxing voice, the way he paced his words so carefully and gently. Or the comforting gaze he looked at you with, the kind that showed he was listening and paying attention. Kei took a deep breath.

“I’ll do it.”

Akaashi’s smile widened, lighting up his face so beautifully Kei was almost rendered speechless.

“Thank you! I’ll keep you updated by text.”

Kei couldn't help but smile back. There was something about Akaashi, something not entirely explicit, that just demanaded his attention and response. Suddenly the door to their small room opened violently.

“Akaashi~” a voice called out cheerily. A familiar head of wild black hair poked through the door, an all too often seen grin following. “Oh! You’re here too, what are the chances?”

Kei gulped, straightening himself on the chair as he felt on edge. “Extremely low.” Kei retorted in the best monotone he could manage with his pulse picking up. “Trust me, I’m just as shocked and disappointed as you are.”

“Oh, I’m not disappointed,” he said with a grin and suddenly Kei felt extremely small. “Maybe it’s just destiny that we keep meeting like this.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“You should underestimate the universe like that, she’s too powerful.”

“I’m not underestimating the universe, I just feel like she has better things to do.”

Akaashi simply watched them both with a small smile on his face. Such a smile made Kei feel uncomfortable, unsure of its connotations. His expression was flat but his eyes twinkled in amusement. “Interesting. Anyways, as I said earlier, I need to go. I’ll see you both around probably.”

Bird’s nest stepped back out from the door frame to allow Akaashi to pass through. Kei could hear a short exchange of words before Akaashi left his sight and Bird’s nest reentered.

“Well, I had booked this study room.”

“I was just leaving-”

“No need.” Bird’s nest interrupted much to Kei’s surprise, coming into the room and closing the door behind him. “You can keep me company while I mark your class’ papers,” he grinned, taking a seat _very close_ to Kei.

Kei blanched. “Wait -- I thought you said you weren’t marking them?”

“Oh, I’m not _officially_ marking them. The professor lets some of us read through them and draft mark, which he then critiques and marks properly.” He leaned in. “I could tell you your grade if you like,” his eyes glinted mischievously.

Kei, fighting every other instinct of his, leaned back away from Bird’s nest. “You know, I don't study law, but if I did I’d be able to tell you exactly _why_ that's so wrong because that really is just _so wrong_.”

Suddenly Bird’s nest let out a sharp screech, making Kei jump in surprise. Or actually, no, it was a _laugh._ He was _laughing_. It sounded harsh and kind of maniacal, but also sort of genuine.

“Wow, I guess you got me.” he teased, after recovering from his spurt. “I’m a _criminal_ , a law-breaker.” Kei rolled his eyes, only serving to encourage the boy. “I break the law and I do it _for fun_ . Got a life sentence for… what was it? Ah yes, being so _criminally attractive_.”

Kei froze, blood rushing to his cheeks and his heartbeat picking up and his whole body feeling like it was aflame with sheer embarrassment.

“Sh-shut up… you... stole my headphones.” he weakly retorted, trying to calm himself down.

“No, you left them in my hands. Clearly they weren't that important to you.” Kei recovered with that statement, his disposition inclining him to choose to feel incredulous at that remark than embarrassed at him personal misfortunes. “I mean, you basically gifted them to me.”

Kei then decided to do what he often liked to do as a last resort with problems he didn't know how to handle; he ignored Bird’s nest and took out his phone. Kei could see Bird’s nest from the corner of his eye chuckle to himself and focus in on the pack of papers he’d brought with him. After a while Kei could feel a heavy gaze on his, one that warped into a presence staring over his shoulder. Kei could feel his heart racing, and chose to move back slightly and glare at the offending presence.

“Why are you looking at my phone?

“You got any games?”

Kei blinked hard. _“What?”_

Bird’s nest pouted. Like _actually_ pouted _._ “I’m bored.”

“I thought you were working.”

“Yeah, so I’m bored. What kind of music do you listen to?”

Kei blinked hard again. “Why?”

“I don't know, you just have a pair of headphones everytime I see you.”

“No thanks to you, I had to scavenge for these spares.”

“Once again, a _gift_.”

“I’m pretty sure that's what thieves say when they get interrogated. ‘How did you come into possession of this stolen artwork?’ ‘It was _a gift_ ’.”

Bird’s nest rolled his eyes, still grinning. “Sounds to me like you're avoiding my question because you’re hiding something. What do you listen to - shit, don't tell me it’s EDM.” Bird’s nest gasped, seeming somewhat genuinely offended. “Not that it's bad to listen to EDM, just _only_ EDM is questionable.”

Kei was very confused, and so he chose to fall back on his natural defense mechanism of satire. “Are you questioning my lifestyle choices? With that hairdo?”

“First of all, my hair is _amazing_ and I worked damn hard to get it this irresistible. Second, you’re avoiding my questions again.”

“I’m really not obligated to answer anything you ask me.” Kei deadpanned.

“Wait - Don’t tell me… you’re an _elevator music_ kind of guy.” Bird’s nest mock gasped, ignoring what Kei had said.

Kei blinked a few times in confusion. “What?”

“Lo-fi electronica, basically elevator music.”

“I don't listen to _elevator music._ ”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me your YouTube history isn't just ‘Anime Vibe” playlists.” Kei couldn’t, for more than one reason (the primary being it totally was just Anime Vibe playlists).

“And what's your YouTube watch history, Evanescence? The Chainsmokers? ABBA?”

“I know you’re trying to mock me, and I sincerely admire your efforts, but I really gotta be honest with you and say all of the above.” Kei didn't say anything in response, mainly because he couldn't figure out how to respond. What _was_ this guy? “Also, definitely Ted-ED videos, and probably Disney film analyses.”

“Disney… analyses? “

“I actually love watching commentaries like that. I’d usually watch like social commentaries but my friend, Akaashi, got me really into film ones.”

“But why… specifically, Disney… “

“I love the psychology behind it. It's so fascinating how much is packed into these short but… impactful animations.”  For once Bird’s nest wasn't teasing. Instead he was kind of talking normally and genuinely. Usually with strangers, Kei wouldn't press further, but he found himself wanting to ask more.

“So, you like Psychology?”

At that Bird’s nest made a strange sort of expression, something in between a squirm and a pained smile. “Yeah? For the most part? I mean, I do study it.”

“I thought you were in the commerce stream.”

“I double major.” Bird’s nest said with another expression in between a smile and a grimace.

Kei’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ in surprise and he frowned slightly. “You don’t seem to enjoy it.”

“No, I do. I really am genuinely interested in both subjects, it’s just…” he sighed deeply and frowned, his eyebrows creased and staring at the table. “Just… complicated.”

Kei took a moment to properly look at the boy ahead of him, staring intensely at the table in front of him, lost in thought and work deeply forgotten.

“Yeah, I do kind of know.”

That seemed to snap him out of his thoughts and he looked up at Kei, tilting his head and smiling softly. There was a moment of silence as they both just sat in the room, neither saying anything or feeling the need to, until Bird’s nest sent it all crashing down.

“Hey,” he said softly, tilting his head and giving Kei a smile that _dangerously_ sped up his heartbeat without any warning. “I don't think I’ve actually ever seen you around campus before.”

“I haven't either,” Kei admitted, his voice for once without its characteristic sarcasm. He smiled back, albeit quite small, but Bird’s nest seemed to recognise this and grinned back. Kei felt like he was on _fire._

Tsukishima Kei did _not_ get crushes. Nope. He absolutely refused. He didn't get infatuations either. He’d decided, after the two tragic failed attempts of his childhood, that he would never forsake himself like this again.

“So, do you listen to Kpop instrumentals too?”

Kei glared at him in response which only served to widen Bird’s nest’s grin further. Kei was completely ready to forget all of this right there and then, he didn't _need_ this mockery and torment, it was too tiring. Kei should just leave and never think about any of this ever again. He didn't do _crushes_ , didn't have space or time for them in his plan.

But then Bird’s nest flashed him another heart-stopping smile and suddenly Kei wasn't so sure.

 

* * *

 

“Tsukki, get up, you’ve been like this for _days_.”

Kei simply moaned into his bedsheets in response. He heard footsteps and shuffling coming from wherever Yamaguchi likely was. He lifted his head to try to source the _disturbance_ , to find Yamaguchi staring at him from his place on the opposite single bed _._

“Let me wallow in my misery in peace.” He resumed his regular position on the bed.

The shuffling stopped. “Is that an oxymoron?”

“In _peace_ , Yamaguchi.”

Kei heard quick footsteps and felt a hand grip his torso. Before he could say anything he found himself being flipped over onto his back, face up to the ceiling, exposed to the light and Yamaguchi’s displeased face.

“Yah! Tsukki, you should eat something, you weigh, like, nothing.” Kei let his eyes narrow in on The Disturber; a grinning Yamaguchi standing beside him dusting off his hands as if to congratulate himself on his hard work.

“What are you, my _mum_?” Kei grumbled, receiving a light elbow in his side in response. “Ow! Thanks.”

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes. “Tsukki, I have never been able to really understand you but there are sometimes where I _really_ can't understand you.”

“I don't know what that means.”

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes. “Why have you just been doing nothing for the past three days.”

“I haven’t been doing _nothing!_ I was studying.”

“You know what I mean.”

Indeed, Kei did. “No I don’t.”

“Tsukki, forgive me for talking like a 12 year old but you clearly have a crush! You _like_ that TA guy with the bad hair! Like, you _like-like_ him!” Yamaguchi winced as he said the last part.

Kei didn't like hearing that. He could feel his heartbeat pick up at the external acknowledgement.

“But I don't want to,” he said softly.

“Tsukki, you said you talked to him, right? You had a nice conversation. You told me, and I quote, ‘oh my god he’s so smart and sexy, holy shit, and he’s so nice what the fuck’.”

“I… really don't think I ever said that.” Kei muttered. Yamaguchi simply ignored him.

“There's nothing wrong with liking someone you think is attractive. It's perfectly natural! Why are you struggling with this?”

“Look, Yamaguchi, I don't know what you want from me.” Kei didn't say everything but he didn't need to. “I know that it’s like… there’s nothing holding me back except for myself. And I _know_ Yamaguchi, like I really do, that this isn’t as big a deal as I’m making it out to be. Like, we’ve only talked once but everytime we do, I just feel so… flustered and I don’t like that.”

Yamaguchi withdrew slightly, his voice softened. “What are you afraid of, Tsukki?”

 _Was_ he afraid? Probably, but what was he afraid of?

“I don’t like things I can't control.” he admitted, feeling like he was giving up a part of himself in the process. “It's so _occupying_ thinking about him and I don't even know him! I don’t even know his name! I’m obsessing over a complete stranger. I’ve never done this before and I can't figure out why I’m suddenly behaving like this but I just feel so... _drawn_.”

Yamaguchi frowned. “You’re not supposed to control your feelings, Tsukki.”

“It doesn't make any _sense_.” Kei insisted. “Why am I so obsessed?”

“Why don't you talk to him more, actually meet him and maybe even find out his name?”

“Uh… maybe later…” Kei mumbled, averting Yamaguchi's intense gaze.

“What are you waiting for?” Kei didn’t respond. “A sign from the universe?”

“Maybe?” Kei shrugged his shoulders sheepishly.

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes again. “I don’t think simply waiting around is going to be any help-”

The door slammed open.

“Hey kids- oh, uh, sorry about that, I just don't know my own strength~” An apologetic Oikawa stepped into the door frame. “No one was in the living room so I just let myself in~ Anyways, kids! A friend of mine left these at my place. Tsukishima, I think they’re yours.”

Oikawa walked forward toward him and held out his hand, dropping something on the mattress next to Kei. Kei reached out for it, eyes widening with realisation as he took in the familiar black plastic and white letters on the ear pieces.

“How... did you get these?” He choked out, shocked.

If Oikawa noticed Kei’s distress he didn't show it. He continued speaking, his face and voice characteristically bright. “I just said! A friend left it.” Kei remained silent, somewhat stupefied. “ _Actually,_ I think he's the same guy you were talking to at the party.”  
  
If Kei had a drink, he would’ve spat it out in that instance.

“Bird’s nest?!” Yamaguchi shouted in astonishment, mimicking Kei’s same bewilderedness much to his gratitude. “You know _Bird’s nest_?!”

Oikawa looked puzzled. “Bird’s nest?” Out of nowhere he broke out into a loud, harsh laugh almost collapsing to the floor much to the bewilderment of Kei and Yamaguchi. “Holy shit.” He breathed out in between his laughter. “That is _gold_ . I am never going to let him live that down _holy shit_ that is so funny.”

Kei let Oikawa recover for a moment, not that he had the emotional capacity to actually interrupt his laughter fit, he barely had the capacity to formulate thoughts in that moment.

“You… you know him?”

“Dark, messy hair, slightly tanned skin, fucking  _Bird’s nest_ for hair?” He laughed again at the last part. Kei simply nodded slowly. “Yeah, that’s him. We’ve been friends for a while, he’s actually in one of my Psychology classes.”

Kei’s eyes widened in surprise. He decided to press further, as he seemed to be doing all to often today. “What’s his name?”

At that Oikawa’s eyes practically _sparkled_ with mischief, a sly grin spreading out across his face. “Oh no, there is _no_ way I’m telling you that.” Kei was about to say something in protest before Oikawa cut him off. “Look, I like you Tsukishima, but I also like having fun and this looks like it will be a lot of fun.”

Kei wasn't ready to give it up, but he also knew better than to protest against Oikawa. He was about to let him leave when Kei suddenly recalled something else. “Wait, you saw me talk to him at your party?”

Oikawa narrowed his eyes, the previous sparkle of mischief reflecting something more close to pure _devilry_ . “Don’t _underestimate_ me, Tsukishima.” He turned around sharply, heading back towards the door. “I see _everything_.” And with that, Oikawa Tooru exited with the same bewildering flamboyance as he entered.

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi began slowly. “I think that was _your sign_. Also, remind me to never upset Oikawa, like ever.”

Kei was just as confused as before, now somewhat alarmed by the efficiency with which Bird’s nest -- _Kuroo --_ seemed to infiltrate his headspace again. Kei looked down again at the headphones in his hand, still in shock. He turned them over, thumbing the interior fabric of the headset. Suddenly, something small and folded fell out. He picked it up.

“Holy shit.”

“What is it?” Yamaguchi asked, coming over to Kei to look at the piece of paper in his hand. “Oh my god -- is that his _number_?”

“I... guess so.”

“Well,” Yamaguchi sprung away, his eyes lighting up in excitement. “Are you going to text him?”

“I… don’t think so.”

“That was literally a sign from the universe. What more do you need?”

Kei felt his phone vibrate in his hand. He looked at the notification.

 **_Akaashi Keiji  [18:24]  
_** _Hey! So judging from your conversation in the study room today, I want you guys to do the shoot together! You guys already know each other so hopefully that will make it less uncomfortable for you. Thanks again, Tsukishima._

“Holy shit.”

“What's wrong, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked, eyebrows furrowed slightly in concern.

Kei looked up from his phone meeting Yamaguchi’s eyes, causing the other boy to step back in surprise at the distress evident in his eyes.

“I think… the universe is definitely fucking with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the support so far! its so incredibly touching & motivating to see people actually liking this!!!!! it means so much!!!!
> 
> pls as always feel free to comment below or @booseungkwn on twitter lol tx


End file.
